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Aleksandra's Response

by Aleksandra Dobrowolska


Over the course of 3 months, I initiated my idea of depicting the interpersonal feeling of claustrophobia. Through crits and reflection, I decided to materialise and capture my own personal experiences of claustrophobia as it would be less interpretable or misjudged. My interpretation is diverted from physical restriction as well as mental occupation. Therefore, my paintings derive from the literal denial of physical movement, being trapped, and denied autonomy. To which is my response to XYZ; the manifestation of the literal repulsiveness associated with the confinement of physical touch and its attempted rejection.


The realisation led me to create my current trio of work, named ‘Please Let Me Go’. I aimed to unite parallels between the absurdity of my paint’s toxic, inverted colours, and the pragmatism of its meaningful portrayal. Depicted is the interplay of one feminine and one masculine hand opposing each other while being unwillfully trapped together. Rather than identifying the masculine hand as the perpetrator, aiding (statistically rightfully) the predatory stereotype, for now they both push away as to avoid narratives of causation and correlation. Making it more inclusive and more engaging to any spectator. Through the exploitation of their tense dynamic, I instead diverted meaning in the physical discomfort of resistance, rather than gender specifically.


I utilise oil paints for their beneficial properties, such as layering and blending, which helps convey feelings. My layering process is as laborious and heavy as I would like the emotional message to be. The mixing and smudging of colours purposefully and incidentally, are important in the representation of the overall message, with their high contrasts being unpleasant. The visual discomfort arises from my chosen primary colours green, red, and yellow, because of their rotten resemblance. Like displaced or discarded flesh creating a dehumanising colour spectrum. Yellows aids in depicting strenuous points from the tension of the material, desperately trying to resist each other.


Together with physical and visual discomfort I blend real events with their associated consequential horror, upon retrospect. Shown in how desperate feelings for alleviation are created from my metaphorical representation of the entrapping material, and overall gruesomeness, which embodies being stuck in a bad situation.


I would have displayed the paintings in a dark exhibition space, sprayed with a nasty nauseating chlorine/ bleach smell, to be more immersive in an uncomfortable setting. With the current climate of resilience with women reclaiming the streets in remembrance of Sarah Everard, it is disappointing my work could not be displayed in the ample time. But for now, the trio are displayed virtually until later plans.


Enjoy x

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