By Aksha Mustafa
‘Tulips’ is a triptych of oil paintings that simultaneously explore the feelings of love and loss. My XYZ dive into the emotions which are fundamental to the human experience: love, happiness, and care. I feel as though these three elements intertwine and come hand in hand with all other emotions, whether it be grief, sadness, anger, or something else. This piece was inspired by the recent passing of my cat, which allowed me to feel a loss I had not yet experienced before. They say losing a pet is like losing a family member, a phrase I had not believed until recently.
Each painting focuses on a different colour of tulip and its symbolism. The first of the set is inspired by red tulips, which represent deep, unconditional love, while the second explores yellow tulips, symbolising cheerfulness and hope, and the last looking at pink tulips, a display of affection and care. I think these definitions are rather interesting particularly since the original meanings behind the yellow tulips were jealousy and hopeless love. I think this emphasises the idea that colours have no set emotional definition behind them but rather can be interchanged to fit any perspective.
I don’t usually stick to stereotypical emotions linked with colour within my work but found it fascinating when doing it as it got me wondering why we link colour to feelings. Who’s to say that blue must mean sad and red must mean love etc? The concept of universal colour emotion seems to be so ingrained into everyone, forcing us to lack imagination and originality to the point where unconsciously refuse to see any other emotional links to the various colours in our lives.
This idea is what led me to portray my grief within such ‘happy’ colours, because you wouldn’t expect it. Alongside this, the piece is able to portray the beauty within grief as the tulips in each piece gradually become clearer, showing a sense of acceptance. In the first piece, they are unclear and beginning to bloom, however, are bright and confident in the last, expressing the final stage of grief.
Using oil pastels was quite an experience especially since it’s not the medium I’m experienced with. I decided to use oils because I enjoy the freedom the pastels have; however, this makes it very difficult to create certain marks where I want them to be. In a strange way, the frustration of this concept adds to the piece, expressing pure emotion in the most minuscule marks. It creates the question of whether the piece is chaotic with no control or if the chaos is the control. This concept feels oddly reminiscent of the unpredictability of life and the wonderful mess of ups and downs we experience, gradually chipping away and creating the people we are today.
I loved creating this set of pieces in memory of my dearly loved cat, Tulip, stepping out of my comfort zone, and experimenting with poetry and a new medium. Perhaps this may be the start of a new era of work, but for now, this is my XYZ.
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